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Craigslist Confirms Adult Ads Shutdown

| Behind closed doors | October 12, 2011

Craigslist Confirms Adult Ads Shutdown

Online classifieds website Craigslist has broken its silence over the abrupt closure of its “adult services” section and said the shutdown was permanent.

Craigslist removed adult services ads on September 3 following months of pressure from state law enforcement officials and advocacy groups which had charged that they facilitated prostitution.

But the quirky San Francisco-based website had declined until Wednesday to provide an explanation for the sudden removal of the ads for escort, massage and other services.

In an appearance before a congressional committee looking into the sexual trafficking of minors, William Powell, a Craigslist director, said the site had “no plans to reinstate the category.”

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Nothing sexy about Amsterdam’s Red Light district

| Behind closed doors | October 12, 2011

Nothing sexy about Amsterdam's Red Light district

Cameron Atfield finds that, despite efforts to clean it up, Amsterdam’s infamous Red Light district is still seedy and sad. 

As I watch the couple having sex in front of me, I can’t help but feel a little self-conscious about my new surrounds – and my fellow spectators.

“Yee-haa – drill her!” comes the cry from the rowdy, drunk Englishman across the room.

 ”Woo yeah!”

This is my first taste of Amsterdam’s famous live sex shows – and it’s not quite what I expected.

The natural assumption was that it would be just like a porno, only live, in person.

But within the walls of this dark, dingy theatre, I realised this was very different. This was a shared experience with strangers – not particularly pleasant strangers at that.

And, while I am no prude, the whole thing was more than a little … wrong.

About 40 people are seated in the rows facing the stage. There are a few couples, a small group of women and one man sitting alone in the corner, with an overcoat probably at least three sizes too big.

I don’t look in his direction again.

But in the main, the theatre is full of boozed-up men who left their manners at the door.

They whoop and holler their way through the entire “performance” – one even violently rips off his shirt.

The large security guards, discreetly positioned at the back of the room, watch with eagle eyes but don’t make a move.

Onstage, the couple go through their choreographed routine, almost robotic as they switch positions with utmost efficiency.

Fifteen seconds here, then change.

Fifteen second there, then change.

All along the way, the obnoxious drunkards yell out words of “encouragement” to the man on stage.

But not to the woman. Never to the woman.

As they do this, I look at her face.

Is this where you wanted to be? Where you thought your life would end up? Do you enjoy being watched? Or is this a means to an end, borne of financial desperation?

I’ll never know. But I will always wonder. And I’ll always know that I contributed to the industry when I – along with the rest of the buck’s party – shelled out the EUR30 admission fee.

When the couple is done (sans happy ending, from what we can tell), they stand, smile and wave as they accept the applause (well, whooping) of the audience.

They’re followed by a succession of women performing various acts that can’t really be described in any detail – needless to say, I’ll never look at fruit salad the same way again.

So it’s with a sense of relief that we exit the club and return to the hustle of De Wallen – Amsterdam’s famous red light district.

There’s no sugarcoating it – the place is seedy. Very seedy.

Some places are seedy but endearing. De Wallen is just seedy and sad.

The women in the windows gesture to the drunkards in the street, offering their wares with all the seduction they can muster.

We see seven men – yes, seven – pile in through one of the doors after a lengthy negotiation with a single prostitute.

It’s a district that is synonymous with Amsterdam – but that’s not a situation that sits well with all the locals.

In recent years, there have been moves to limit the size of the district. And the number of windows in which prostitutes can display their wares.

And there is concern among elected officials about Amsterdam being a hub of human trafficking, particularly from eastern Europe – which I may be about to come face to face with.

Somehow, in a futile search of decent food, I get separated from the rest of the party.

I lean over a bridge railing, spanning a canal, and observe the red light district in all its glory.

The drunkenness, the drugs, the prostitutes. The noise, the colour. The sadness.

It’s not at all titillating – not at all sexy.

As I look down the canal, I hear a tapping to my left.

The scantily clad woman in the window has me in her sights, and she’s tapping on her window to get my attention.

As she beckons me, I can feel my face blush. I’m not quite used to this caper.

“No thanks,” I sign emphatically, shaking my head and waving her away.

But she’s insistent, so I walk over.

“Look, I’m really not interested, thank you,” I tell her.

“In any case, I’ve only got EUR10 on me and you seem like a classy woman, so I really couldn’t afford you.”

It wasn’t until the sober light of the next morning that it dawned on me how condescending those comments were.

“But, how’s your night going?” I ask.

“Busy,” she says.

She tells me her name is Nathalia. She’s from Romania, she’s 42 and she’s a single mother.

Nathalia has displayed herself in Amsterdam’s windows for two years and charges EUR50 for every “encounter” – and she does it all for her daughter.

“I want her to have a better life,” she says.

Our conversation is interrupted by a northern Englishman.

“Hey, you gonna do her or what?” he says to me.

“Nah, she’s all yours,” I say, and they disappear through the door. From the darkness, a large man is watching me.

I get the impression talking and not buying is frowned upon, so I make tracks and go off in search of a cab.

Several weeks later, on my long flight home, I watch the movieTaken on my in-flight entertainment system.

In it, Liam Nelson plays a father whose daughter is kidnapped in Paris by a prostitution ring, to live in sexual servitude for the benefit of wealthy men.

As I watch the movie, my mind wanders back to Amsterdam. And Nathalia.

De Wallen is an experience for sure. But not a pleasant one.

http://www.smh.com.au/travel/nothing-sexy-about-amsterdams-red-light-district-20100920-15it2.html

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Spain Breaks Up Male Prostitute Ring

| Behind closed doors | October 12, 2011

Spain Breaks Up Male Prostitute Ring

Spanish police said on Tuesday they had arrested five suspected members of a gang that imported men from Brazil to offer sexual services and drugs across the country.

Police said a week earlier they had detained 14 pimps in the ring, describing it as the first gay prostitution network ever dismantled in Spain. The latest arrests bring the total to 19.

The gang, mostly Brazilians, is accused of providing the male prostitutes with Viagra, cocaine and other drugs to make them available for sex around-the-clock.

Police detained the five in simultaneous raids on three brothels in Madrid, they said in a statement.

During a search of one of the brothels, police found a 16-year-old Brazilian minor who had been working there for nearly three weeks. Pictures of the boy had been posted on internet adverts for the brothels.

Police said the gang recruited men mainly in northern Brazil to come to Spain. Many were duped into thinking they would work as models or dancers, but others knew they would be prostitutes, they said.

The prostitutes had sex with other men at brothels across Spain and had to give half their earnings to the gang and pay for rent and food, police said. They were threatened with violence or death if they complained.

http://news.smh.com.au/breaking-news-world/spain-breaks-up-male-prostitute-ring-20100907-14zrq.html

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Strip or starve: Cash-strapped lawyer turns to exotic dancing to pay her debts

| Behind closed doors | October 12, 2011

Strip or starve: Cash-strapped lawyer turns to exotic dancing to pay her debts

A lawyer has told how she turned to stripping to pay bills after struggling to find a legal job in recession-weary America.

The attorney, giving her name only as Carla, graduated from law school ten years ago.
But after being made redundant in 2009, she had to take drastic action to avoid drowning in a sea of student loans and other debts.
After working as a waitress and a cashier in a gas station, she told MSNBC she became so desperate she took a job as an exotic dancer.
And now she has turned her finances around – and is earning enough to pay her fees for a Masters degree in law.
‘Did I ever think I’d be taking my top off for rent money? No. I was in my mid-30s and had never danced before,’ Carla, using her stage name, told MSNBC.
‘As a little girl, I never thought to myself, “I just want to grow up and be a stripper,” or, “All I ever wanted to do in life is climb in the lap of a sweaty stranger and take my top off.” But, with our economy the way it is, especially in smaller cities … you strip or you starve,’ she added.
Carla moved to California in the late 1990s to take law in college after growing up the Midwest.
All went well and she managed to get a good job after earning her degree, but the economic downturn left her without a job.
‘I went around to see if could get a job as cocktail waitress, but there was not a single retail or waitress job. No one was hiring, except for the topless places,’ she said. ‘It was an act of desperation.’
Now she earns an average of $20 an hour on weekdays and as much as $50 an hour at weekends.
‘Sometimes it sucks, it’s degrading and I hate it, but it is necessary right now and I’m glad I have the option of doing it.
‘My parents and a few friends know and they were horrified at first.
‘But now they are proud of me for sucking it up and doing what I have to do.’
She draws the line at dancing in private rooms, even though it can be much more lucrative and the bar she works in doesn’t allowed full nudity, which is just as well with her.
Carla is hoping to bade farewell to the stripper pole for good in about six months.
‘While I am proud of making a living by any legal means available to me, I realize that some will think of me as just a glorified legal prostitute and I would very much like to move on with my life and career at the earliest available opportunity,’ she said.
She told MSNBC that she had some close shaves with some aggressive customers.
Some have tried to ‘grab her, bite her, kiss her, or get their hands under the bottoms I wear’ before the bouncers can come to her rescue.
‘I’ve had men overcome me,’ she said. ‘Luckily help has arrived and nothing has happened. But I have been scared.’
But after working among the legal sharks, she said there is much greater camaraderie among the women she works with.
‘I thought the other women I worked with would be competitive and not supportive.
‘We are fighting over the same dollars. But my female coworkers are the best coworkers I’ve ever had.’
‘I work with war widows, a nurse, a med student, women who have had to go to work to save their home after their husbands have lost their jobs, and others who do this as a means to an end and who do not fit the profile of junkie/prostitute/dancer.
‘What we all have in common is being in a tight spot financially and living in an economy that provides limited options right now.
‘I’d be willing to bet that there are women like me working in it all over the country, out of necessity and not because our goal in life was to appear topless in front of creepy guys.’
‘While there are some real creeps that come in, there are also some very sweet guys who are regular customers and who I genuinely enjoy knowing.
‘The stereotype that says that only dirty old men frequent nudie bars is incorrect,’ she said in the interview.
‘I am no better than the next dancer by virtue of my education or previous work experience.
‘The universe has a funny way of putting a person in their place,’ she added.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2037177/Cash-strapped-lawyer-Carla-turns-exotic-dancing-pay-debts.html#ixzz1YlHQiu3G

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Why women go wild for strippers

| Behind closed doors | September 22, 2011

20110923083018529082935

When women behave like animals and the world says “Yes!”

 

Last week, I wrote a story about a new version of an old pub that had opened in the heart of Brisbane’s justice precinct as a boobie-bar, as well as blogs about sex, sex toys and double standards.
One reader cleverly combined the two themes in an email that presents today’s discussion topic:
Advertisement: Story continues below
When it comes to strippers, why are women able to get away with the sort of behaviour that would see blokes castrated?
“Hi Kat
Enjoy having a read of your column, but the entry today did remind me of something I have always wondered about.
I have been to strip shows aimed predominantly at men where the punters are mostly well behaved and keep their hands to themselves.
I have also seen a strip show by men aimed at women where the performers literally come out with scratches and their clothes torn from their female audience.
That would simply not be allowed in the reverse situation
I have never been sure why there is this difference in behaviour and often wondered if this is why woman don’t like their men going to strip clubs as they think men behave in that manner.
Keep up the good work,
Mr Man.”
Well, Mr Man, I too have been to strip clubs where women behave abominably – howling, screaming, scratching, tearing and objectifying the hell out of the bloke paid to shake his body in their wild-eyed faces. In this crowd I felt embarrassed to be a woman, embarrassed to be watching a strip show and embarrassed for the stripper who smiled through it all.
The same red-faced awkwardness was totally absent on the few occasions that I have visited strip clubs featuring women.
Why is this?
I think it has a lot to do with conventional sexual power dynamics and the skewed view on consent they present.
Consent should be thought of in equitable terms – a takes-two-to-tango decree. But female consent has accrued more import than male consent, due to a historical imbalance of power and the assumption that men will never not say yes to sexual activity.
But in this age where equality is socially and politically supported, we shouldn’t let ancient patriarchal norms govern our views on consent anymore than we should pretend all men think, feel, act and desire the same (guys, you’re individuals, aren’t you?).
And while some men, maybe even most men, may think it quaint I suggest a woman should ask nicely before doing sex to them, and only do it if the answer is ‘yes’, the fact remains, even horny-as-hell blokes should think about being asked nicely first. It’s only manners. And manners are the cornerstone of civilised society.
Herein lies another theory of mine: women behave in an uncivilised manner around male strippers because, unlike men, they lack years of civilising experience with sexually provocative performance.
The whole idea that women can ogle male bodies, and desire them, publicly, is a notion that’s only recently crawled out of the deep pool of lusty carnal history.
Thus, women don’t have a history of entertaining courtesans in private dining rooms with friends to fall back on, hence, crude behaviour. And there’s also the fact women are generally pretty darn excited that Carrie and the gals made it OK to do what we probably always wanted to do, even before the Bronte sisters wrote out the sex fantasies of the weaker sex in all their broody, animal glory.
So perhaps women need to develop the same sort of gentlemen’s agreement that prevails among well bred blokes which insists upon decorous treatment of all, including those who strip for a living.
What do you think?
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/blogs/citykat/why-women-go-wild-for-strippers-20110920-1kjdk.html#ixzz1YlKid6BK

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Q and A about size

| Behind closed doors | August 27, 2011

size matters

When you feel inadequate its important to remember what women really want.

[Q].
I feel inadequate about my size, and these feelings become even stronger when guys are walking around the locker room. How do i get over this sense of inadequacy about the size of my prize?

[A].
Women ranked penis size fifth in a list of turn-ons, behind muscle tone, hair, teeth, and complexion. You’re better off brushing your teeth than trying to grow your penis overnight.

If your going to compare yourself with other guys in the locker room at least try to level the playing field. When your sneaking a peak at their junk you are seeing it at a 45 degree angle… when you look straight down at your own it makes it look smaller because you are not getting the whole picture… So use a mirror and check yourself out.

find out how to measure your penis correctly on the following page.

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